Where do I start. I cannot do anything anymore. I cannot function properly-or function at all. Everything I say, all that I do is pointless and meaningless. The people in my life-who are they? My heart aches, but over what? I cry myself to sleep nearly every night, but why? Nothing makes sense-but was any of this meant to make sense? Are we meant to figure everything out? Are we supposed to suffer? But why if none of this matters?

I have found that music in solitude is the only way to ease the pain. To just sit in a room with God and music. To ignore the noise-all the pointless noise that surrounds.

Soak in the words of the song, and the presence of the One, the only one, who believes in you. That is the only remedy for all of this pain, this heartache this confusion this feeling of never belonging. And maybe I don’t. And I guess that’s okay as long as I can hold on to this last bit of sanity.