Steampunk, I take it? A nice job getting all that into the story without belaboring it too much.

Mercury arrows, though? Wouldn’t they just be splashes of liquid and not all that dangerous?

http://www.instructables.com/id/Steampunk_Dystopian_Sniper_Rifle_Mercury_Bow/

Niiiice. Intro and action all fit in.

After reading most of your stories, I find you have a amazing knack for story introductions. This story does a great job of grabbing hold of the reader, but I do have one complaint…

These stories end up just being teasers with no completion… I would love to see you write a few prequels or sequels to flesh out these amazing worlds you throw us into :)

Steampunk! Yay!

I like this. A good mix of setting, characters and plot. Fun narration, in the sequels I love her tone, and the suspense builds nicely.