oo sacrificial offering. And a great cliffhanger! again the repetition bugs me, pet peeve, but if I were stumbling upon this tale, it would be necessary. I know authors do it all the time to emphasize the important parts because readers only pick up 1/3 of a story the first time. It’s also good practice if you have a long series to recap. But i just read this in one string, and it bugs me. :P Welcome to ficly, and keep writing gripping stuff!

Exciting bit of story. Bit of a contradiction that there was no way to get to her and then she screams and charges, unless I missed a step. Just nitpicking, still a fun read.

Not bad, but there’s some tense weirdness in the first paragraph.