“Things to do…” he said to himself, trailing off slightly as he finished writing.

“Number one…find… secret… pirate… treasure.” He glanced over his shoulder at the armchair in the corner, which sat amidst a pile of shiny gold doubloons. “Check.”

“Number two” he said, sticking his tongue out ever so slightly as he continued to scribble on his yellow legal pad. “Hire… ninja… army.” He leaned back in his chair and glanced into the other room, where a group of ninjas, dressed all in black, sat in front of a modestly sized television set watching a small yellow sponge-like creature create havoc for an anthropomorphic octopus. “Check.”

“Number three… buy milk.” He looked proudly at the glass of milk. “Check”

“Number…” he stopped for a moment and recounted his list. “Four… build… hypersonic death ray.” He looked over the side of his desk at a small pile of pans, wires and soda cans, then erased what he had just written.

“Number four,” he started again. “Visit… hardware store…”