I like that you threw us in at the deep end here, no waffling prologue or distracting asides – just a good, clean piece of storytelling…

The mouse is called Phil! There’s awesomeness right there – what more can I say? MH :)

I thought it was awesome. A great, complete scene that establishes a good deal of setting and back story as well as creating lots of potential into which your protagonist is walking. Very nicely done, and I don’t even know what the challenge is.

Excellent entry. It makes me curious as to the fate of Phil with his message as well as what the world around them is like.

I’m not a big fan of rats. D: That aside, this was a good piece.

In the flavor of Redwall, but with elements like the Rats of Nimh. This could easily be a part of a novel.