Hmmm… I like it. I can’t seem to understand the last few sentences of the third paragraph, though. Perhaps you could clear that up a bit?

Edit attempted on that third paragraph. It was a bit muddled, so hopefully this is clearer what I meant. Thanks for the input.

Ah, I get it now. Much clearer. I shall rack my brains and come up with something for a sequel later.

You’re missing a period after the first sentence of the second paragraph.

Otherwise, nice job. This was enjoyable.