ok as your only follower i should advise you to read and comment more, make some friends. i like your writing sstyle its fresh. oh yeah, the second sentences in the first and third sentences are fragments.

Nice work as far as content goes. Mighty Joe does raise valid points but a comma will fix both of those sentences (or a dash or a colon depending). Look forward to seeing more of your stories.

melancholy, the ending, however the style and tone were great. :)

I touched the story up a little to eliminate the sentence fragments. I think that the story reads better this way. Thanks for your input.