beautiful imagery and descriptions, but I thought that “people his age and older will throw up to even think about it” was a stark contrast to the rest of the story. IMHO, a slight rewrite of that statement, and using a different description other than “throw up” would better suit the story.

Will do thanks ^^

A neat idea, image, and sentiment, but the compact structure in one paragraph combined with some very long sentences made for a difficult read.