Oh, this is my kind of story. I have a couple of characters who would love to meet this one. Some are heroes, others are quasi-heroes and some are villains. I hope you write more soon. ( I’m new here.) I’d love to read more.

I’m liking this… enough detail to give us all a good idea of what’s going on, but leaving out enough to veil it with mystery.

My only nit-picky thing is the use of “snaking.” This is probably just me, but “snaking” has a thinner connotation to me; it implies something more narrow than the cloak it describes, like a ribbon or something. If that’s more of the sense you’re looking for, something thinner and more, well, serpentine, it works, but cloaks have a, how you say, fuller connotation to them.

Personal taste thing aside, though, beyond that this is pretty tight. I’m likin’ it.