Beautiful, and so sad. It’s a fact of life that life doesn’t turn out the way we want it to, eh?
You really show her desperation using the inner dialogue. Superb :)

Thanks so much PJ. I am glad her desperation came through.

Oh, how sad. I wish she had realized that as long as there is life there is a chance. Any chance she might have changed her mind and turned around? maybe she ended up saving someone else. Sorry, I’m a sucker for happy endings, LOL. This was truly well written and I felt for her. Well done!

shadowlight – if you wan’t there to be a happy ending, you can write one. It could go either way. Thanks for the comment.

If I had to choose one story on Ficly to embody how I feel about my life, this is the one that I’d choose. It has the right tone, the right feel, and the right ending… Well written and perfect for the challenge.

Nice use of the seascape metaphor. I was especially caught by the gray water. There’s so much about the beauty of the sea, and that just sort of stuck out as indicative of how she sees the world, bleak and without beauty.

Did not see the ending coming either.

God, this is me. The way everything in her head seems just like the seascape – cold, grey, bleak – makes this one tragic scene indeed. Amazing.

PS: A couple of sentences in the second-last and third-last paragraph seem a little stilted, but that’s not really a big deal. It’s still a good piece.