Marvin had his gun pointed straight at my forehead, and I could see in his eyes that he was picturing the bullet cracking my skull like an egg. Yes, I had been cheating on him with Bill, but still…a gun is a bit much. The egg timer, comically shaped like an egg, rang, and, still wearing an oven mitt, I took out the cupcakes.

“Stop Moving!” He shouted.

Suddenly, the closet coughed, and out came Mr. Jefrey, the old man who likes to go naked, completely naked. He, too, was armed, but not with a gun, if you know what I mean. With a complete disregard for the situation, him being naked, and my husband trying to shoot me, he began eating my cupcakes. And, naturally, I started crying because I wanted to ice them.

“DEA! Open the door!” Someone shouted from the front door. Marvin walked out of the kitchen to answer the door.

“Surprise!” It was Bill. Next thing I heard was a gunshot. Marvin shot him in the toe, and Mr. Jefrey had a heart attack while saying, “I cannot believe that just happened.”