Opening up my present to see an adorable furry toy looking at me had me quite disappointed. A toy with two ears, two big round eyes and an adorable little beak frozen in time twist tied into a cardboard box.

I opened it out of boredom because any other thing I received that day was labeled “batteries not included.” Upon flipping the switch it came to life. Blinking and wiggling its ears whenever I would speak.

It was like a baby. It couldn’t do a thing for itself, and its speech was not much more than a mess of a garbled furbish syllables being emitted from a speaker. The thing however creepy seemed harmless enough so I put it on the counter while I sat down to eat dinner.

Walking away I heard a horrendous squawking I turned around to face the toy, whose eyes were open as wide as its hinges would allow, and its wings and ears flapping around violently in a frantic panic. I couldn’t leave it there doing that so I went back to get it.

Leaving the room holding it in my arms it spoke.


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