Good introduction to a series of stories. Nitpicks: a) The parenthetical comment in the first sentence is the equivalent of breaking the fourth wall in the visual arts. I found it breaking the flow and especially because it completes the first sentence. Might I recommend something like this: “…he felt as if he were waiting for something, something awesome, something jawdroppingly awe inspiring.” Italicize one of the words in the final phrase as well, whichever one you feel needs to be emphasized. b) I’m undecided about the ellipsis at the end of the story. At the end of a sentence, it normally indicates an uncompleted thought which doesn’t seem to be the case here.
August Rode