aww, i know this must have been a rough realization. i think you left out the word “mean” in the single sentence at the bottom half. part of me wants to be all, ’don’t cry over him!’ and part of me wants to sympathize. :)

thanks elsh and i was wondering why that sentence looked so odd.

Hehe, I think it should be shining not shinning in the first line.
This is so painful, so beautifully captured.

this is sad but you write so beautifully that it makes you feel ever little pain and emotion that you feel when you were writing it