hm, the last sentence seems cheesy and forced and out of place. Something more sentimental perhaps.. Otherwise, great little dialogue!

The author’s descriptive abilities are superlative. The story itself is well written and poignant.

Elisha is on target though. The last sentence is a Baby Ruth in the swimming pool (Caddyshack reference) and should be expunged, to be replaced by a more compatible sentiment.

That said, were I an editor, I would put this author to work on assignment. He has “it.”

I’ll edit this as soon as I can figure out how to continue the parallel without forcing it. Thank you for the assistance. Constructive criticism is worth more to me than general compliments.

Knowledge of the ages passed from one to the other, continuing on, the way it always had.

That sounds perfect. I’ll have to restructure a little to compensate for the character limit, but that was perfect. Thanks again!

I like the dialogue between the grandpa and grandson. The whole story has a pathos to it that tugs at the heart. I know I’m coming in late, but i have to agree with everyone else. The last sentence doesn’t quite work with the rest. Maybe something a little more detailed? Just a thought. Other than that I really liked this.

Ok many edits were made, some more subtle than others. Thank you everyone for your help. Special thanks to ElshaHawk.