i think I prefer it when you write the lighthearted stuff

sad :(

Intriguing. At first it just sounds like a jealousy thing, as if dad spent more time with this family, but the twist makes for a lot of intriguing questions.

This is really interesting. I like how you have a great handle on the voice of the character. I’d like to see this continued, personally.

Chapter 1, page 1. Break here, cut some time and pick up at least three months later with the voice darker. Book deal.