Stay tuned for more.

Ah, you’ve captured the moment perfectly. I feel for him and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Well done!

A Joycean journey! WANT MOAR!

Good beginning. I like where it is going. Minor edit- I think you need the word ‘stop’ in the second paragraph. It was also interesting to me that at first I didn’t think suicide should precede the thoughts about pain but when I really thought about it, it made a certain kind of twisted sense, despite suicide being a way to (usually) end the pain. I look forward to seeing how the rest of the journey plays out.

Edited, and you just have to remember that this isn’t physical suicide.

An exceptional start.

Now that I’ve read it and all the sequels, I catch a bit of a transition from internal memory to recounting the past over the next few works.

This and the end were the best parts.

Some revisions in the middle sections would be recommended, but as always – that’s just my opnion.

Well done. His state is aptly conveyed.