People say stop, stop writing all this. People say it won’t bring him back so don’t waste your pen, don’t waste your energy. People have stopped reading, stopped listening, stopped helping. So as I sit here, wondering what to jot down next I pour my heart out one more time, against what people believe I should do.

What people don’t see is, this is all I have left to do. I am not doing it to bring him back, that is a lost cause. I’m not wasting my pen because with out these words I pour out, I am full of pain. This is my solace, my outlet. Without this, I can’t put my mask on and face the day. It may sound rediculous, but this is all I can do. So read it, don’t read it, do what you wish. I am not writing any of this for him or for others to feel sorry for me, I am writing this for myself, so I can try to find answers.