I like the ending.

was gonna tag this mature..

Two nitpicks: I tripped on the phrase “behind the chairback I was seated in.” A chairback is not something that one is normally seated in. Take out “back” and all is repaired. Secondly, in the 4th paragraph, you said “It was all I could do not to jump at her.” This phrasing very strongly suggests self-restraint, yet in the 8th paragraph it is made abundantly clear that self-restraint cannot possibly be involved. I also had fun with “revealing the severed head of my best friend.” Technically, the word “severed” is implied by other phrases (“carrying a tray”), but it adds nicely to the horror so I would leave it in. But I thought to myself how much more horrible it would be if it was the unsevered head that was revealed. Sorry, that’s just the way my brain works. ;-)

wow, very good. well written even without the twist at the end. though the twist is excelent

haha august! and thanks for being picky! i need it! off to edit!

august, i like the line, i guess he COULD stand up or hop with the chair, leaping at her even while restrained…i know it sounds funny, but he does need some self-restraint.. any suggestions as to how to re-work it?

Ho-ly SHIT you ACED this.

Absolutely blindsided me, and I was definitely waiting for a Ficly twist here.

thanks scott! even with the mixed up line.. :P

How about something like “She must have sensed that I wanted to jump at her and pin her to the bed.” That might tie that paragraph a bit tighter.

thanks a bunch august! I’ll try something like that.