“You know,” Irene said, taking a sip from a bottle of cheap, two-year-old tequila- the only thing her ex had left in their apartment. “We had a dog when we were kids. It was the sweetest thing in the world.” She was pacing, leaving tracks on her living room’s beige carpet. “And one day, Dad left the back door open and the fucking dog ran out and never came back. Jim doesn’t know how good he had it. Is his hairdresser going to cut his toenails? Is she going to brew his tea for exactly three minutes? I don’t think so.” Irene pinched the bridge of her nose to stifle a sob. “I just don’t know what’s happening to me. Everything’s going wrong.”

She swung around and stared at Simon, spreading her arms. “You won’t say anything? You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

Simon sighed. He’d known he would be in for some weirdness when his wife, Irene’s sister had asked him to calm her down, but he never expected this. “Irene,” he said. “You’re standing naked in your living room with a bottle of tequila.”

“Your point being?”