just found this site. i was freestyling (basically… just writing without any thought) and this came out. might try and make it the beginning of something bigger as its a writing style that, upon a reread, kind of appeals to me. Anyway, I might just be crazy, so would appreciate anything…

This is an example of what is referred to as purple prose, one characteristic of which is to sacrifice narrative flow in favour of descriptive style. Because of that, it gets fairly tedious to read in large quantities.

You’ve used very nearly your entire character limit to write a single paragraph of six sentences. If this were rewritten to focus on communicating the story, it could likely be pruned down to about 250 characters or so.

Purple prose is not generally considered an effective writing style. However, as one of my favourite authors, Terry Pratchett, wrote in Wyrd Sisters, “When you break rules, break ’em good and hard.”

If it’s what you like or want, then I encourage you to go for it. Just so you know, I started a challenge yesterday specifically for purple prose. This would have been a suitable entry.

Welcome to Ficly!

I like it, but I like this very detached style of writing. It’s very absurd in style and not really about very much, but still endearing in a strange sort of way.
If you don’t understand that, don’t worry – few people do. :)
Welcome to ficly xD