‘Alien’ instead of ‘dark and stormy’, eh? ;-)

Have you read much Virginia Woolf? Your first sentence is 111 words long. Breaking it up a bit would help the reader to parse it.

You capture the atmosphere well and leave me wondering if this really is an alien landscape.

Good stuff.

@August Well, i couldn’t help it. The line was there!!! I just made it a little more alien

Oh, and @ethel I realise the second sentence is six lines deep (and grats on counting the words) but I don’t think it would have worked better broken up. Maybe easier to digest but the mood would echo differently.

The mood and word choices are exquisite here PJ, really very evocative indeed – although I do feel it falls down a little on the structural front – that first sentence is too long, and I think it could be broken up, but hey, it’s your choice…

As I say, lovely tone, brilliant scene you’ve set here – MH :)

Edited due to popular demand

Nailed the purple prose aspect. man, that got heady and made my head spin.

Beautifully purple.

I’m sorry I missed the 111 word sentence. If it made sense, then I would have kept it since I thought extreme length was virtually the definition of purple prose. As it is you managed to do very well for yourself. Honestly, I don’t know what you were worried about. Cheers!