For Laura,

I couldn’t say this in front of you, so I’m posting this cowardly dispatch in faith that you won’t throw us away, or you shouldn’t watch this body crack up in ML1. I couldn’t stand our familiars’ downward looks or consoling words.
What I’m saying is that I long for you. You, who has always stood for my angry fits of backbiting, my days of total anguish about nothing in particular, my volcanic bursts of assault, and wait for my forlorn vindications.
I long for us to turn to ‘Us’. Long for an inkling that I could hold your hand and kiss you in bright daylight. I want to clasp your back as our passion grows in moonlit rooms, pulsing until it compounds us, and all walls burst.
I can’t go without you.
But, if you would do so, don’t trash my longing. Just say ‘I can’t’ and I will go my own way.
But if you will, don’t abandon us. Hold an ally is yours truly.

Only yours,
Caris