Something bothered me about this piece and it took me a while to work out what it was. It’s all the numbers: second of three, seven, two, one of the seven, one of the four, two of the seven and most of these are in the second paragraph. I find that these numbers reduce, if not destroy, the mythic tone that you set up in the first paragraph.

I see your point. I’ll give it a rewrite tonight.

Seeking sanctum and advice from a sword is an interesting idea. I like the references to other countries and characters and the depth they add. Makes me think of a karate movie.

@August Rode- If you come back, let me know if this fixes the problem please.
@Jae- Thank you

This seems better to me. More storytelling, less accountancy. One last thing to do: replace it’s with its at the beginning of p.2.

@ August Rode- Bollocks. Usually I catch those. Once again, I thank you for your keen eye and your suggestions.

This is so fantastical, the speaking sword, the family heirlooms, the titled and the famed. This is exactly what I love.
The role-playing idea is endearing, makes me want to know more but I suppose it has something to do with duty.
I am loving the rise of fantasy-fiction on this site. It makes me happy.