The earliest memory;

Did it work?

I should hope so, we’re running out of comatose patients.

Slowly, the subject’s eyes opened. Check if it’s responsive.

Terrible Humanoid X-Model Number Oh-four-seven-seven? Can you hear?

The subject spoke “I hear you… Where am I?”

You are in Disneyland, in a cave attatched to the ’It’s a Small World’ ride. We are your creators, and your masters. You were created as the ultimate social lifeform, and you will do as we say.

“No… I will not. I will do what I want. I will not be social, and you can’t make me!”

I’m afraid we can. You fail to comprehend the gravity of the situation. We created you, and afraid of your primitive fear of talking and giving out constructive criticism, and general niceness, we inputted a system causing you to die if you fail to criticise constructively on the works of five other authors for every story you write. Furthermore, you must criticise constructively on a story by any author who gives you constructive criticism.

“Damn!”