“Her uncomfortable feeling was all too apparent, their history producing an elephant so large it couldn’t possible fit into the room.”

Bahahahaha;
That was a great line.
Very nice story – well written, with a tempting “Tell Nobody.” for someone to sequel.

Creepy. Did the host want this sort of thing to happen (soundproof closet)?

When did people put chairs in closets and how big is it?
It’s creepy how you can imagine this, but – don’t take this the wrong way – I like this perverted stuff, even if it makes my insides feel all wrong.

that’s gonna leave a mark

Ahhh!!! Scary, but well written. A quick note— in the first paragraph, I feel like “apparent” is awkward. Maybe “obvious” would be better? Anyway, nice work.

Yikes, ech, and brutal. Effective writing, just a gnarly situation. My one nit-pick would be the number of hands, as it seemed like he tightened his grip on the back of her head, covered her mouth, and undid his pants.

I really liked the switch in perspective to explain the outside people ‘giving them their privacy’, allowing it to go on. Nice touch.

Very good – like the irony of 7 min in hell as opposed to heaven.

While reading, I also thought, “this guy has more hands than Shiva”. But I see this has been addressed. :D

1) Congrats on getting featured.
2) This is like my first comment in about two months on Ficly, so feel honored.
3) I’ve noticed you have a knack for writing really powerful lines of imagery that you drop into important moments. It’s a good knack to have.

Thanks, guys! haha

I would just like to say that it was my intention to have him remove his hand from her neck and use that hand to undo his pants

nice story
it kinda creeped me out so the realism is apparant :)
good sequal potential, liked the ending alot.

liked the note about her friends also.

Typo: “possible” should be “possibly”

Really nasty. Really really nasty. But well written.

I also enjoyed this story, but I’m confused over the word love. Surely, if he loved her, he wouldn’t rape her and ruin their chances of getting back together? I think “love” is too profound to be used this way. Aside from that, and your use of imagery was really great and I also liked the idea of 7 minutes in hell. Tell Nobody was an excellent touch, but I don’t think it fits with I Never Stopped Loving You.

In my mind, he was very…disturbed.
And, being as such, his judgement may be a bit frayed,

StudMuffin, I just gotta say, after coming back to Ficly from a long absence, your skills as a writer have come a long way!

Your creativity was obvious to me last summer, but now you have everything you need to channel that into really great writing. Bravo, man.

OH I GET IT LOLZ ITS ABOUT RAPE YOU GUYS you sick bastard.