Great moment and what feels like a very calm and quiet look into the mind of someone in a very loud and turbulent situation. Nicely done.

Minor nitpicks: The separate lines for the different thoughts made it seem like a discussion rather than an inner monologue, but that’s a style choice. You could put the song lyrics in italics or reference the character trying to focus in on the music to make it clear that you mean for that to be what was heard. I might have picked it up if I knew more Avenged Sevenfold lyrics by heart, but alas I do not.

hey this was a good start on ficly. i also liked the way it switched from calm to matter of fact.

intense moment and well told, but I agree with THX’s nitpick. The use of quotation marks made it feel like a discussion, and broke the flow you seemed to be going for.

Thanks for the comments and critiques! I’ll keep them in mind whenever I write again.