I like how you incorporate lines from the song, but they’re a bit too long and obvious. You should make the additions more subtle.

As I one song concluded I think that’s wrong although I’m not sure how you meant that to turn out.

Providing the actual events that inspired a song is an interesting take on the challenge but too much of the text is song lyrics. It is a bit like a dramatic re-enactment of the song. Great song choice though.

It was hard to sidestep the dialogue lyrics of the song by going for a literal translation of the song.

Love that song so much. Nice work, though I agree with PJ— the song lyrics were a bit distracting.

Awesome song choice, and I can see that you’ve tackled it as someone who loves the song, but, like the others have said, you really need to pull away from those lyrics!

I wouldn’t imagine you’re going to change it now, but I’d think about the mood of the song more – the message that Joel is trying to send out subtly, rather than just in what is said… MH :)

All I can say is that the lyrics I used were the dialogue lyrics, because dialogue is set in stone but you can describe things in a different way. Also, Billy Joel said that this was meant to be a literal translation. He wrote the song about the time when he used to play in a bar and one night, a guy asked him to sing a song.

Just because I do love this song as well, I noticed some of the lyrics are out of place. It should be “son can you /play/ me a memory” and "i /knew/ it complete.

One reason I like the song is that everyone has a story, and I don’t know if you can get that across in the limited ficly style format.