2:10am, & I’m still awake, should have been sleep at least by 12.
My problems with her run across my mind & I truly wish that I could just end it.
Its not what I wanted, she is what I thought I wasn’t.
Being with her was just to prove my manhood & that I could handle a woman, with all her needs & show her the man that I want to be.
Being with her was supposed to eliminate the rest of the competition.
Being with her was supposed to better me as a person, as a strong man.
My close friends said this was a phase, because it was her
But its only a phase because of her actions, decisions & choices
I am a man of Christ, & even though I have my moments when I fall to pressures around me, I try to stand back up & continue to walk & because she doesn’t it bothers me. I can’t deal with her drinking all the time, & showing off her body. It bothers me, how she disrespects me without knowing it.
She just doesn’t know, & now that I look in her past to find a man that still lingers in her mind, how can I not say its over.