I asked her to meet me here. I damn near insisted she be here. But is she here? No, of course she isn’t.

Why do I believe her lies? Is she even lying? Or does she intend to do things she never follows through on? I could spit on the ground, I’m so infuriated. I will. I did.

Meet me at 1024 Riverside, I told her. Bring your suitcase. Packed, but lightly. You and me, we’re leaving and not coming back. Forget finishing the semester. Forget finishing school. We were going to escape. We weren’t going to look back. Me for her, and her for me. For each other. It sounds so pathetic, in retrospect.

Maybe I should go back. I didn’t withdraw. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone. There’d be no shame from friends or headmasters. But there’d be shame when I saw her. She’d tell everyone anyway. God I hate her. I hope she shows up soon.