WARNING: JUDGEMENT DAY IS NEAR!!!!

Everyone, get ready to be judged. The end is near. The date? Experts predict anywhere between July 13th, 2014 and August 4th, 2014. Others say December 21st, 2012 (The Winter Solstice). I am not sure about you, but I favor the experts, not Myan Mythology.

The facts:

There will be a large meteor (XM- 7480A01) that will collide with Earth, creating a giant crater. The impact will give Satan an open door from the fiery depths of Hell and onto our Earth (Which by this time should be quite similar to Hell due to nuclear war and Hydrogen Bombs). This will render mass suicidal acts and people may panic to the extent of using a Hydrogen Bomb to destroy Satan. This will cause God to come from Heaven and save Earth. While he is at it he will judge us all and send us to our place in the afterlife based on how we have lived our lives. If you feel you may not be worthy of going to Heaven, based on how you have lived your life so far, than you better shape up in the next few years.