One Day a Man Fell Off his Bike
One day, a Man, we’ll call him Jimmard, was riding his bicycle. He enjoyed riding his bicycle to the store each day, for on his route was the attractive young woman, roasting garlic petals on a George Foreman grill. At least, she was some of the time. He would come around the corner of Old Man Barn Hill, and watch as the young woman’s lawn revealed itself to him, foot by foot. On days when he did not see her, he’d often turn around, make a big loop around his house, and come back again, in the hopes that she’d be there on his second lap. That day, she wasn’t there the first time, so he looped back around his house, whistling a little tune to himself.
Minutes later, he was coming around the corner of Old Man Barn Hill again, and as her lawn slowly drew itself along his field of view, he realized that he was not going to see the young woman today. He sighed, and continued on his journey; after all, he was out on an errand. It was time to go to the store, and get me some goddamn HOOKERS!