Blarnicus Bayheim watched the sun set over the Western Seattle skyline. Shift as dockworker fer Barnegie Buoys and Boats of Boys Co. was about to end and he was set to get his swerve on. There was a ruff’n’tuff dike bar a few blocks away and it was always a hoot’n’a-holla to stir the tea kettle of the women’s liberation movement with a lil’ good old fashioned misogynist ass grabs.

“Dikes love that shit,” thought Blarnicus as he wiped hot man sweat from his upper and lower brows. Little did he know that dikes only like their asses grabbed by…

BATMAN!!!

The dark knighted avenger of justice and peace and prosperity sailed across the dockyard. His monolithic figure landed behind Captain Bayheim. He gently caressed Blarnicus’ rubble of trouble (i.e. facial hairs).

“Wh-who are you?” Blarnicus stammered in elation.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” said Batman.

“You sound a little like Batman to me,” stated Blarnicus.

“You crafty bass-turd! Feel my wet revenge!” Batman started to slip off his left bat-glove…