Batman, o Batman, your Batsignal shining,
With sequins on cape and with silver lining,
Tell me, o tell me, do you ever wonder:
Could Robin’s back door you covertly plunder?

It is there he stores the goods,
Where he hides his morningwood(s),
Sometimes in multiples, but usually in twos.

Tell me, o Robin, if you ever could choose:
Who would you pick to have you as their ruse?

At first it was Batman who you seemed to amuse,
But somewhere along your feelings became misconstrued,
You were lustful for love, Batman lustful for lust,
And for that very reason you now must—

Stiffen your morningwood(s),
Get movin’ those goods,
If you shall be plundered, Batman shall be sundered.

Buy yourself a cock-piece, do what you can,
Because no matter what, Robin must take it like a man.
He may have concessions, and viable court confessions,
But none so strong to prove you did in fact molest him.
You feel affinity for MJ, you know he’s the best,
All those below can only detest.

Innocence given through immaculate emasculation.