Ew, that’s pretty gnarly, though my kid would probably eat it anyway. I really liked the first paragraph, but the rest felt a bit quick, like trying to fit too much into the ficly. It’s not bad, just a matter of feel and pacing, a minor point. Awful prank though—can’t believe you took a big bite of it.

That sounds nasty. But now that I think about… Nope. Nasty.

The prank seems like it isn’t the point of the story, it feels to me the setup is the ‘fight’ and I’d like to find out what happened to the poor pranked protagonist.

Would like to hear more about why he elevates himself to a rebelious freedom fighter.

eeeeewww…can imagine that. Made me cringe…
perhaps a sequel would help the development of this character who seems a little overstated.

OOOO yuk. I hate butter………….