I enjoyed this – it had a mystery and ambiguity about it that some of the other entries haven’t captured, and I think that tone is important for a story about something so totally unknown…
A couple of grammar things – I think you need an extra comma between ‘away’ and ‘took’ in the second line, and you’ve misspelled ‘peace’ in the line ‘never shall you be at…’.
But, other than that an interesting, well crafted piece – MH :)
Mostly Harmless