Ah, a hurricane. Did not get that until the end, just kept picturing some version of the Incredible Hulk. The shift into colloquial in the second paragraph was a bit hard to get through. I see what you were going for, but it went a bit far for my taste, so my comment is just that—a matter of taste.

Just like THX, I didn’t expect the hurricane twist at the end. Although the colloquial verb tense threw me off at first, but I think it somewhat worked.