It wasn’t always like this. Young Freeze was just a young man fresh out of med school with the whole world as his oyster. Only: he didn’t like fucking oysters. In fact: he hated those motherfuckers. Motis operandi? Yep.

One day: Young Freeze was strolling back a lecture resulting from his tenure as Junior Lecturer for Ball State University (look it up!). The lecture had been a long and hard one: friction. He had ramrodded knowledge, shoveled knowledge, convalesced knowledge, absconded with knowledge…all kinds of stuff. I digress: the fucking knowledge was served up hot, ready or not.

The reversal: Gettin’ his stroll on, Young Freeze noticed something: a shack. But not just any shack—it was THE CRAB SHACK. Ya see, here’s the irony: while Young Freeze detests gushy oysters, he love the crunch of a crab leg. So can you see how things might go wrong? Walk into a crab shack hopin’ to find you some good crunchy crab meat to greet ya belly and, lo and behold! Fucking oysters. Everywhere. Not cool. Deep end.