Christ. Learn to proofread, ya amateur.

Dang, this is pretty good!

I likey.

Nice. And of course, what cop would look for the person living at the house 1.34 miles away?

I like that the tone is consistent, sounds like your average boring dude right up until he robs a bank. Well done.

This is really funny, Thelonius

As I’ve noted elsewhere, I’m a sucker for cut-rate super powers.

Very nice. I liked it plenty.

Fun take on super powers and how they aren’t always as glamorous as one might imagine, what with skin-tight costumes and damsels in distress and all that. I think you’ve still got your numbers backwards on the distances.

so how did the bank job go? oh wait i probably shouldn’t asking you this on ficly.
I just haven’t heard from you in a month and your ex neighbors said you gave the house away and disappeared with some brunette in a bmw.
awesome story but i really like the rhythm of it.

Ahaha.
Funtastic. This is actually really brilliant.

This is such a great take on super powers. I love the set up and the way the character describes their ability. And of course, the end made me laugh.