The first thing you learn at the DMV is how to get rid of customers. The training consists entirely of memorizing documents and scenarios in which they might be necessary. A simple head shake accompanied with, “It appears you’re missing your Social Security card” is enough to send even the most amiable customer into hysterics.

And when it came to getting rid of customers, Kevin Riley was the best.

A smug, uptight weasel arrived at 4:55 PM. “Hey, champ,” the weasel said, “I need to title my new Corvette.”

“Okay, I’ll need your driver’s license,” Kevin said. The weasel handed him his license. “And your proof of insurance.”

“I’ll have State Farm fax it right over.”

“It looks like you’re missing an emissions test.”

“Got that right here.”

The weasel had an answer for everything. He appeared to be a worthy adversary, but he didn’t realize one important thing. Kevin was merely toying with him.

“You’ll have to come back tomorrow,” Kevin winked and said, as the clock turned, “We close promptly at 5 PM.”