haha, I worked at a Union job once that made me think that the only thing that kept the job from being done by robots was the union. It was mindless shitty work.

Me = Union?!?!
Still, nice dark undertones. Beautifully written.

Reminds me of the mail room scene in The Hudsucker Proxy. It seems to me that “stupefied and flabbergasted” is a tad wordy for the opening. It’s not bad, just a little muddled.