I think you tried to cover a bit too much territory in this story. I would have preferred a certain moment in their history.

I have to concur with stargazer. It was a good piece but tried to cover too much. Good psychobable though.

Yeah, I agree with you both. I’m a little rusty in my writing lately. I stopped for too long but have been back to daily writing recently and will hopefully improve.

I really enjoyed this. I could feel her raw emotions with every rewrite. And I loved how it mirrored real life: spending all this angst on someone you’ll barely remember in five years, while someone who means the world to you can slip away unnoticed until much later. I wouldn’t want more backstory on the friendship — this version makes it feel more universally true.

Thanks, Elizabeth. To this day it’s one of the best pieces I’ve written (not the one above but the one I’m writing about in the one above). Whoa… that’s a confusing parenthetical.