Dang, like a haiku intended to bring you down a little. Well written, but you start too many sentences with ‘He’. It works find here, but in anything longer it would get monotonous.
Very well-written, but it’s crying out for a little more structure. Right now it’s just a swirl of depressing images, which is fine, but it needs to be tied together.
Muse among Myths
YaYa