I like it quite a bit but I have a weakness for this kind of thing.

This might just be me, but I think made up slang or slurs tend to sound really cheesy or fake. You could lose the “wirehead” and replace it with something more typical, like “asshole” and it would work better.

But that’s me. Maybe just use a different slur?

I really liked this! The imagery was lovely.

You might want to be careful about repeating the same word in close proximity, it can be confusing.

Got a bit of a Blade Runner feel to this one.

Very cool.

I like the mood of this piece.

Best phrase: “Sparks glittering in the rain.” Also: “trademark andie stare.” Good work.