Coffins are strange things.

You never think about a coffin until you’re ready to be in one.

And why would you want to pay thousands of dollars for something you won’t even notice in eternal slumber? So many options, too. Do you want it made out of mahogany, oak, koa, or something more exotic? What color do you want the inside to be? Do you want satin?

What does it matter? I’m just gonna decompose in there. Just make me a pine box about six feet long, and shove me in that.

Then, someone has to carry you to the hole. I never relied on anyone in life, why would I in death?

Also, if I’m gonna pay for this coffin, I want it to be wormproof. Just sayin’.

Ah, I’m just complaining. Guess I should stop.

Of course, when I died, it didn’t matter to me that there was satin in my coffin.

Satin in a coffin is an entirely pointless thing. Just ask the dead.