The vast majority of this piece was, in my opinion, heartbreakingly stunning. Really, truly, the regret and almost confused innocence was deeply touching.
There was just one line, one line, that diminished the piece for me – the fourth from last. The one where you felt the need to give a context, a background.
When you’ve captured such a desperate, unbalanced, fragile state of mind, so well, you don’t need to interrupt with reasoning – just stick with telling us the raw feelings.
I implore you to edit – because with that edit this will be utterly beautiful – MH.
Mostly Harmless