Eh, it doesn’t offend at all. Not half bad at all. There are some problems but I sent the critique to you via private note because the dang comment couldn’t be posted for some reason (yes, I made sure it was under the character limit).
Your critique is very useful, thanks for going into detail cos I know what specifically needs looking at now :) What would you sugget I used for the bullets bit you mentioned? As you can probably tell, I know NOTHING about the subject and it sounds like you know more…
Hmm. Maybe you could ignore that part altogether. You’re writing from the perspective of an animal, so you might want to focus less on things like the environment and what the hunter is doing ( a wolf wouldn’t know what shells are, either), and maybe focus a little more on the smells, the sounds, the sights, things that an animal would take notice of in a hunt. :D
Nickel 
There is a light and it never goes out :)