We couldn’t have fit any more in if we tried, at least that’s what I told myself. My heart sunk, as the guiness book of world records official handed the trophy to the other team. Maybe Charlie was too fat or maybe Marlene was too tall… if only Larry hadn’t put on those extra pounds, maybe, just maybe we would have been able to pull this off. I was so dedicated to this that I even slept in a phone booth, hoping that maybe my body would conform to the shape.

God damnit Larry… I didn’t even want him on my team, but Sally insisted “I just can’t do it Tom. We’ve been trying to find hobbies that we both enjoy. You know how hard it can be to spend time together, especially after having kids. I just can’t do it without Larry.” I relented, in this world you just don’t turn down 75 pounds of contortionist, even if they do come with 350 pounds of Larry.

In the end I guess that’s just the way competitive phone-booth stuffing is, you win some, you lose some, or in the case of that fuck Larry, you gain some.