I kept getting the sense that I had forgotten something.

I shrugged the feeling away – the machine was flawless. It had all the bells and whistles that you’d expect. (Well, only about half as many bells as whistles – I can’t stand the ringing.) But the rest of my machine was the image of perfection: the electrical conductors were solid gold; the wiring was shiny, shiny copper; the buttons, ivory. Every square inch of the exterior was covered in polished aluminum paneling. The testing also went smoothly (as expected). The machine ran at a constant 99.99999 (you get the picture) percent efficiency. It was just as I had dreamed!

For the unveiling party, I spared no expense. I invited the whole town. Even the Mayor showed up! Speeches were given; corks popped. Then came the time to pull the curtain aside. Gasps all around. Soon the room was abuzz. I beamed with pride as the Mayor approached.

“Impressive machine,” he said, and then paused to look at it again. “But what does it do?”

I knew I forgot something.