and that went nowhere.. we have character, job, happiness, and.. then.. nothing. Too happy and we’re not hooked. Think of a ficly as a chapter, not just a paragraph. I’d take out the winter part, as it has nothing to do with the scene, and right at the end throw in some trouble for the too happy postman. Save the winter part for your manuscript at home. Give us the juicy details!

Not to be too rough on your first ficly, it takes QUITE a bit of getting used to, the character limits. Sorry if that was harsh. Welcome to Ficly! I usually don’t bite..

Hey, that was great feedback, and so quick. Cogent and useful! Thanks.
I’ve read some of the Ficly stories now and have a bit more feel for what might fit the rather narrow parameters.
I’ll be back….